The Starlight Diaries (Tauriel's Diary)
by Fangirl131
Summary: Tauriel tries to hide her grief for Kili by visiting Imladris and does not expect to find a beautiful elf named Lindir. Tauriel's diary, based on Gilwen, Daughter of Elves on Pinterest. Set after LoTR. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Naneth,

Imladris is beautiful, even more beautiful than I imagined. The elves there are very different than those of the Greenwood, and they don't even wield daggers, save for Elrond and a few others. They value Song and Elegance over defense, and rarely hold meetings. The way they act, it may as well be Mereth Nuin Giliath, the feast of Starlight, every day. Although they are lively, they welcome visitors anytime.

There is a servant, Elrond's servant, who welcomes guests. He is tall for an elf, and has dark hair. He is quiet for an elf of Imladris, and he has the grace of a warrior that only another warrior could see. I have yet to find more about him, and his name.

Naneth, as always, I wish you were here to see everything. If you were here, I would duel with Legolas and you would help me learn more to win. If you were here, I would not be here to accompany Legolas to the Council, or to speak with Elrond as the Captain of the Guard. You would. I miss you, Naneth. And Ada as well.

Tauriel


	2. Chapter 2

Naneth,

I've learned the servant's name. Lindir. It's almost as beautiful as he is. He reminds me of Kili sometimes, beautiful but deadly, playful and kind. I remember Kili better when I look at him, for he has the same eyes that haunt me every night. When I look at him, my world changes, for I remember Kili's last words. I miss him terribly, Naneth. My heart is broken.

I apologize for saddening you, although I know if you were here with me, you would comfort me. You cannot place blame on yourself for walking through the stars, Naneth. It was that dreadful orc that forced you to leave this earth. As I promised, I will kill orcs until they are all dead.

I also learned something else about Lindir. I do not know of which rank he is, but he does not call Elrond Lord Elrond, as he would have if he was a servant or peasant. It is very difficult not to be charmed by him, although if he was reckless I might give him Kili's runestone. The one that says "Return to Me" for Kili needs to be remembered by all.

Forgive me if I have hurt you by speaking of a dwarf, but as you know, Naneth, I love him still.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	3. Chapter 3

Naneth,

I was wandering around Imladris when I saw a large building titled "Memorials" and stepped inside. Etched onto the walls and pillars are the names of the warriors that fell. I searched for hours, trying to find Kili's and when I realized that the memorial was only for elven warriors. I cannot describe the pain I felt then, as it broke my heart a bit more. I was sad, Naneth. So I carved Kili's name next to Haldir of Lorien's. I fear I have broken a rule, although if I have, it was worth the price.

Lindir came and found me today, for reasons that I do not know. I fear that he has fallen in love with the wrong person, for after Kili I do not believe that I can love again. My heart is broken, Naneth, although I do not weep.

Is Kili walking up there with you, Naneth? Does he know who you are? I understand that you can never answer my questions, but I wish that you could. If Ada knows I write to you, please tell him that he is dear to my heart as well. Certain people never leave your heart, and you will never leave mine.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	4. Chapter 4

Naneth,

There is always a day when you feel to heartbroken to go on, and you give up. Today was that day. It was a crescent moon outside, and the sky was filled with stars. I was outside of the valley, on the top of the cliff, staring at the moon when I saw a falling star.

I remembered the night Kili fell, Naneth. I remember how he said my name as he passed into the stars, and how I said that I could have loved him, and how he handed me his runestone. I looked once more at the sky, and the falling star had disappeared. That was when I gave up, when I truly knew that he wasn't coming back. And, Naneth, for the first time in one thousand years, I laid my head down and wept.

I had not known that there was someone watching me, and he came and sat next to me, and told me that it was all right. It was Lindir, Naneth. He had come to fix my heart, and on that cliff, in the Starlight, was when I knew that I had found love.

I know that it is disrespectful to leave one lover and find a new one, but I need Lindir. He will be there for me, to care for me when even I cannot ease the pain. Kili is still in my heart, and will always be, and Lindir is helping me to never forget him. Kili and Lindir would be good companions now, as Gimli the dwarf and Legolas are, but as much as I want Kili to return, I know that he cannot. I know that he watches over me from the stars, and that he understands how I need Lindir, and that he weeps when I do.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	5. Chapter 5

Naneth,

There is no room for sadness in this joyful day, for Lindir has told me that he loves me. I am confused for where I stand now, for if I wed an elf of Imladris, then I will have to be an elf of Imladris, but I belong in the Greenwood as Captain of the Guard. But I'm being silly, Naneth. Lindir and I will not wed, or at the least not any year soon. I do not need to worry when we have not even shared a kiss yet.

I feel guilty for Kili, as I love Lindir with my heart. If he is with you, I beg of you not to tell him all of this, for I wish to tell him myself, at the spot of his tomb.

As for Legolas, he seems busy with his duties, (but, as far as my knowledge insists, he is most likely with the dwarf Gimli) and I do not wish to trouble him. I wish he would stop hiding from me, but, alas, I cannot choose where his friendship lies. I fear that I have broken his heart, Naneth.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	6. Chapter 6

Naneth,

I am travelling to Erebor, the dwarf kingdom, today. The pain has been too much for me to bear and the Stars cannot help mend my heart. I must go see Kili's grave, even if they do not welcome me. I hope they understand that I was too late to save him. I have not told Lindir.

I love Lindir with my heart, but I should be loving Kili. He needs me to save him, as I have saved his heart just as much as his life. I wish I had not been too late, I wish that he could have seen me before he fell. Naneth, I need your heart now, for mine is broken.

Forever and Forever, Naneth. This burden will never leave, for even when I have a child, I will tell her of Kili, and she will pass his story to her daughter. His story must never be forgotten. Kili will live with me forever.

Lord Elrond bids me safe travel, although he is reluctant to let me go. I will travel for a moon and stay for but a day before returning home. It will be worth the price.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	7. Chapter 7

Naneth,

I was in the stables today when Lindir visited me. He asked me why I was leaving, and that I had to stay with him or he would come with. I told him that I needed Kili.

His face, Naneth. Upon his face were all the emotions that I have been holding back. He was heartbroken. I could see the pain in his eyes as he understood that I loved another. He knew that he was only there for friendship, and that I was not his beloved. When his heart broke for the first time.

When I turned away, he pulled me back and said that he would never leave me, no matter who I loved. He said that he loved me. And he pressed his lips to mine, taking over my world.

The fire inside of me burned brighter, and my fingers tangled in his hair, bringing him closer until I had to pull away.

I turned away, Naneth. I turned away from the only love on this earth that could heal me, and I swung up upon my horse, and rode away, Tears staining my face.


	8. Chapter 8

Naneth,

I have been traveling for days, and I fear that this is where I belong. A traveler, riding alone and waiting for death, robbed of the ones who love them.

Erebor is at least another moon away, and I will think of Kili until then. I will not stop at the Greenwood, my home, not even for my king. Kili needs me to tell him everything.

I have learned on this journey that I will be saying goodbye for the last time. You cannot turn back upon fate, and Kili's fate was the stars. He is gone, and I will leave my heart for him. It's time to let go, to find another life, full of happiness and light.

This is my last goodbye, Naneth. I will tell Kili goodbye and I will never return to the dwarf kingdom. I swear upon the Valar that I will try to let him go.

I will shed my last tears. Amin Mela Anui.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	9. Chapter 9

Naneth,

I arrived at Erebor a day ago, and Lady Dis, Kili's mother, brought me to Kili's tomb. I have been sitting here for a day, telling my story, every detail, every feeling. I feel Kili's sorrow, and I know he feels my presence. If he is with you, he knows everything, but I must tell him everything here.

My thoughts are mixed with sadness today. I will turn around today, and never look back. I will be leaving my heart, but healing it at the same time.

I wonder if Lindir thinks of me. I have left him behind with his first broken heart, and I fear that he needs me just as much as I need him. I will come back to him, Naneth. I am letting go of Kili and holding on to Lindir. My heart will heal as soon as I wake from my sadness.

In my dreams, I wed Lindir. I wonder if he feels the same about me?

Today, I ride back to Imladris. I fear Lindir has been waiting for me, standing where I left him for two moons. I will kiss him when I return, and I will tell him I love him. I will tell him of my dreams and of how I missed him.

I am letting go of Kili. I will ride away and never come back. I will let go of my star.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	10. Chapter 10

Naneth,

I am halfway through the journey back to Imladris. I ride hard every day, hoping to get back faster. I have never felt this rushed before, save for when Kili fell. I hope I will arrive before he runs off to another woman. I wish to kiss him.

I should not be speaking this way, Naneth. I feel naughty. I suppose I have an excuse now, though. I am in love.

I will court Lindir for three years, and then we will wed and have a daughter.

By the Valar! I had not been thinking of what I have been writing, and I fear that I have told you too much. I am laughing now, for the first time in seventy-nine years.

I had forgotten what it is like to love one who is on this earth. I had forgotten what it was like to laugh. I remember now.

I fear I will laugh too much and scare my horse. It may be worth it.

I will laugh again when I see Lindir, and I will laugh when we kiss, and will laugh when we wed, and I will laugh all over again with my daughter.

By the Valar, Naneth. I cannot take my thoughts away from him! I will see him soon.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	11. Chapter 11

Naneth,

After I arrived in Imladris and put my horse away, I went to find Lindir. I ran into Elrond on the path to Lindir's. He told me that he was glad to see me, for Lindir was saddened deeply and would not come out of his room. I nodded and walked to the door, wrenching it open.

He was sitting on the bed, staring at the trees outside. I called his name and he closed his eyes, saying that he must be dreaming. I walked over to him and knelt at his feet. I said his name again, and he looked at me with bewilderment in his eyes. I laughed and told him that I had come back for him, and I told him about my dreams. His brown eyes flew open, and I laughed again. It felt good to laugh. He smiled and told me that he would make all those dreams come soon. I told him that it would have to wait for a year, and he told me that he would count the days.

I stood up, pulling him to his feet. I started walking towards the door, but he pulled me back. He told me that if I left then, my dreams would wait for another century. I asked him why and he said because I hadn't kissed him yet. I laughed and unarmed myself, lying everything on the floor. I walked towards him and broke off his words.

I could feel his eyes widen, feel the strength of his lips curve into a smile. He pulled me closer, and then laughed when I sighed. I started falling into the Starlight of love, but before I could fall too far, I pulled away, regretting every inch I moved. I asked him where he got his dagger from, and when he learned to fight. He smiled and told me that it would have to wait, but I smirked at him and he sighed. He told me that he'd do anything for me, and I laughed.

He reached into his coat and pulled out a dagger. It was silver, and of the finest craft. He brought it over to me so that I could see the ornate designs that twirled around the hilt. My eyes widened, and I asked him how he possessed it. He told me that Elrond had given it to him when he was young so that he could protect Imladris. He said that he had taken many lives with it. I told him that he was a beautiful warrior, and he told me that I was the same.

I laughed more that day than I ever have, Naneth. I hope you know why I am in love so deeply, for answers fail me.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	12. Chapter 12

Naneth,

Elrond ran into Lindir and I when we were walking. He seems to find us beautiful, I believe, for whenever he sees us, he smiles. Lindir greeted him kindly, and then pulled me farther up the path. We walked for another half hour, and then he told me to shut my eyes. I trusted him, so I obeyed. He led me somewhere and then gently pushed me.

I fell backwards, splashing into a pool of clear water, my weapons and clothing pulling me under as I struggled to breathe. I gave up trying to swim when I realized that he was trying to drown me. I sank deeper and I slipped into blackness.

I woke up to the sound of my beloved calling my name. He was crying, for reasons unknown to me. When my eyes fluttered open, he gasped and pulled my shoulders off the ground, laying my head across his lap. I muttered his name, asking why he had tried to kill me, and he stopped crying. He told me that he had brought me to the most beautiful place in Imladris, and he had hoped that we could play in the pool at the bottom of the waterfall. He said that he had not realized how much weight was on me, and that he had pulled me out just as soon as I had fallen into darkness.

I widened my eyes, taking in the beautiful place that Lindir was describing. We were in a clearing in the woods, lying on soft grass. There was a silver waterfall spilling clear water into a pool to my left, and a tall oak tree for climbing to my right. It simply took my breath away. There were beams of Sunlight twirling around the elegant waterfall, and a perfect clearing in the treetops, perfect for Stargazing.

I looked at him with tears running down my face, and he replied by kissing them off delicately. I smiled and asked for forgiveness of my actions. He asked me what actions I was begging forgiveness for, and that he would forgive any. I laughed and pulled him down to kiss me.

We stayed there for a long time, our hearts drifting towards each other, laughing and talking until it was time to return. I asked if we could stay and sleep under the stars, but Lindir told me that we could not, for Elrond would be suspicious. I laughed again and raced him back to Imladris.

I will never forget that day.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	13. Chapter 13

Naneth,

My heart is full again. I am not guilty for Kili, for I have let him go now. Lindir is my Beloved, and I will hold him for eternity and a day.

I have just realized that Lindir is the only person I have unarmed myself in front of. I trust him with all my heart and I do believe that he could save my life just as many times as I saved Kili's. He has already saved me once.

I can feel my heart fill with joy whenever he is around me, and when I touch him, it is as if I will never let go. I do not see him often during the day, but after he is finished, he always comes to find me, wherever I am. I believe that my dreams will come true, but I must wait. Every time I see his face, I tell myself to be patient.

Lindir has never courted another, nor does he feel jealousy towards Kili. Alike me, his parents fell to orcs, and he writes to them just as much as I do.

I will never let him go. He is my beloved, my Starlight in the black sky.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	14. Chapter 14

Naneth,

Elrond called me to his study today. I was sitting with Lindir, and we were talking about weapons. A messenger had come with a letter for Lindir, and before I could object, the messenger took my hand and guided me towards Elrond's study. I jerked my hand out of his grasp and put it on the hilt of my dagger. The messenger looked alarmed and shoved the door open before dashing away down the hall.

When I walked inside, Elrond was waiting. He asked me to sit, smiling all the while. We talked for a moment about Imladris and Eldarion, Arwen and Aragorn's newborn son. Then he told me. He did not smile, but simply told me his message.

I was to wed Elladan. Lord Elrond's son.


	15. Chapter 15

Naneth,

What am I to do? I have not met Elladan yet, save for in battle, where I stood by his side, and I am to wed him in one week. I cannot refuse Elrond's order, for if I do, he will send me back to the Greenwood, where King Thranduil will send me back to Imladris.

I have yet to tell Lindir, for I fear that if he sees me love another, he will die by the hands of his own. I only wish for his love and for his love only. I wish for Elrond to understand, and to bind me to Lindir in Elladan's stead. I only love Lindir, and I will never change my heart.

I am to meet Elladan in his room tonight, for tea. I must tell Lindir. Perhaps he will save me from a forced love. I fear that Elrond thinks of Lindir and I's love as no more than friendship, and that I simply need another man to wed.

I am scared, Naneth. I have never been scared to ride out in battle, or to fight, and yet I am frozen with tears dripping down my face for love. I cannot wed Elladan, Naneth. I cannot. I must tell Elrond of my feelings for Lindir, but my words are lost. I can tell Elladan tonight, but he will not understand. I am scared, and there is only one who can change that feeling. It is Lindir.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	16. Chapter 16

Naneth,

I have returned from Elladan's room, and I have not told Lindir about anything.

When it was but an hour to our meeting, Arwen knocked on my door. When I showed her in, she told me that she was sent to make me more beautiful. When I asked her why I could not go as I was, she said that Elladan would prefer me as a more elegant lady.

I sighed and let her find me a long dress and hair combs, and all the while she was congratulating me on having Elladan as a lover. I had almost wept when she told me that Elrond was announcing our marriage for the whole valley.

When she was finished making me elegant, I slid one of my daggers underneath my dress before she could see. She led me towards his room, and I was holding back tears the whole way. I bit my lip and tried to breathe, and I had almost calmed down when we arrived. She told me not to worry; Elladan would not touch me unless I was comfortable with him doing so. She knocked lightly on his door, and he opened it.

He greeted me, and I did so as well, and he took my hand and led me inside. Arwen walked away, shutting the door as she went. It was only Elladan and I in that room, and I had an urge to run.

But I did not. He led me to a table, and I sat, not saying a word. He asked why I was there, for he thought I loved another. I gasped and asked him how he knew of that knowledge, and he said that he had seen Lindir and I at the waterfall clearing, and that he saw me lying across his lap. I told him that it was true, and that I loved Lindir with all my heart.

He reached over the table, and tugged the hair combs out of my auburn waves, making me brush it off my face, my eyes cast down. He fingered the combs, staring softly at the Mithril. He quietly told me that they were his mother's, and then I saw something I had never seen before on a man. A tear dripped down his face.

I took that as my chance to leave, and as I turned down the hallway, I heard him call after me that he would talk to his father.

As I walked back to my room, I took my dagger out from behind my coat and spun it lazily in my hand, reflecting the moonlit hall; reflecting tears that fell from my Beloved's eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

Naneth,

I fear that Lindir is fading. I was not sure until last night, but he saw how I treated Elladan. He knows that I am to wed Elladan.

But I am not! Naneth, he told me that he would speak with Elrond, he told me that he would let me love Lindir!

I miss him terribly. I miss the feel of his lips on mine, the feel of him running his fingers through my hair. I want him to come back. I will not have him weep for the sake of my heart, for a misunderstanding that still lies guarded. I want to wed him, and now, and for forever.

I will speak with him and tell him everything. I swear upon my Heart and the Valar that I will help him understand. I love him, Naneth, and I will never do anything so rash again.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	18. Chapter 18

Naneth,

Lindir will not listen to me. I have tried persuading him with a kiss, but he pulls away, convinced that Elladan has touched my lips. He is devastated, and he is truly fading. I cannot help him if he does not want to be helped.

I need someone now, Naneth. I need someone to help me save Lindir from the pain of his heart. I have felt the pain, and I had been fading before, and I know of the sadness of which he feels. I will not let him suffer this pain any longer.

I will talk to him again and again, kissing him and hoping that he will hold on. I did not, and do not, want to hurt him again. I have not asked for anything of you, Naneth, but I fear that I need it now. I need you to help Lindir understand.

You cannot. I understand that, but I need him desperately. Please, Naneth, please help me in whatever way you can.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	19. Chapter 19

Naneth,

I ran into Elrond today. He told me he needed to speak with me and he led me into the nearest room. He told me that he had spoken with Elladan, and he asked me if it was true that I loved Lindir. I looked down at his feet, and said yes. He stared at me, and I explained everything. I told him of the first time I saw him, I told him of the waterfall, and I told him of my meeting with Elladan. He just nodded and told me that he was wrong to assume that I was only friends with Lindir, and that he would try to help me bring back Lindir.

I need him to come back, Naneth. I fear that I will fade if he leaves me. My dreams are already slipping, but I will not leave them forever. All my dreams of having a daughter will be fulfilled. I will make it so.

I am wondering, is Kili all alone up there? Does he have to walk alone, or does he have his family with him? I wish for him to be happy, for I am not. I am letting him go, letting him walk without a burden. He may still love me, but I cannot love him. I live here, bound to the ground, while he drifts through the Stars. He called me the maiden who walks in Starlight, but I am not. He is the one to walk through Stars, not me.

I am going to talk to Lindir now. Please send me Starlight.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	20. Chapter 20

Naneth,

I have joyful news!

I was walking through the hallways, trying desperately to find what words to say to Lindir. I felt as if the world was pressing on my shoulders. Elrond had spoken to Lindir, but I did not know if Lindir had trusted him. I was walking, and when I was but a hallway away, I could not take one step further. I leaned against a pillar, and I slowly sank down to the ground, just as fast as the tears on my face.

I sat there for a few minutes, not even trying to wipe the tears off my face, when I heard footsteps. I felt as if I could not move. I knew those footsteps, and I knew that he could hear my sobs. I feared that he was going to hurt me, Naneth. I do not know why, but I did.

He did not. He knelt at my side, and kissed my tears away with a touch lighter than a swan's feather. My tears flowed freely, and I pulled him closer, leaning into him. His face was beautifully peaceful as he smiled at me. I wept harder, unbelieving that he was still alive. He gently took my hands and told me that I had to stop weeping, for he needed to speak with me. He stood up as I finished wiping my tears away, and offered me his hand. I took it.

Along the hallways we walked, the smiles upon our faces lighting up the sun, the moon, and all the stars in between.

We kept walking through all the gardens, until he told me to sit. I obeyed, and he told me that he would always love me. He told me to never leave him again, and I sealed my vow with a kiss. I could almost feel his heart beat with mine, and he pulled me in closer. We kissed deep into the night, the stars lighting our faces to one person that cared for our happiness. Elrond.

As I watched him smile, I could make out a flash of Vilya, Elrond's power-filled ring, and Lindir pushed me down on the bench as Elrond strode away.

Our passion did not go too far, but I did regret it when I had to pull away. We are not bound to each other yet, and I do not want to fall too far before we are wed.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was him promising me that we would wed someday, and I reaching for him as he tucked me into my bed and walked away.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	21. Chapter 21

Naneth,

I have almost forgotten how irregular it is for me to laugh, or for me to kiss. I must be a disgrace to my former personality. I love the feeling of this new life. I feel as if I could fly up to the stars and be the brightest in the night sky.

I remember last night more clearly than I remember this morning. This morning was very dull, as Lindir still has responsibilities. All I remember was that I sat by my window, staring at the gardens below, while I remember every word, every second, every touch from last night.

I have not forgotten about Legolas, though. I wonder what he is doing now. When I left for Erebor, he was returning to the Greenwood, and he was surprised when I wanted to stay in Imladris as long as possible. Now I am not sure if I have seen anyone except Lindir in the last two years. I will have to return to the Greenwood soon.

Oh, Naneth! Lindir approaches. I must go!


	22. Chapter 22

Naneth,

I need to give Kili a final message. I need you to tell him that I am happy. I need you to tell him that I will always love him as a friend, and that I will always love Lindir as my Beloved. I need you to tell him to stop watching me leave. Tell him to find a beautiful lady up there with him, and tell him that he needs to have a beautiful love like me. Tell him that I wish it.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	23. Chapter 23

Naneth,

Lindir's words ring inside my head, over and over again. "Don't worry, My Beloved, we will wed someday." I cannot think of anything but him. I cannot breathe when he gets close to me.

I was walking with him today, Naneth. I did not know what was to happen, but we were both talking and laughing, and he just fell. He was laughing and embracing me when he went limp and crashed to the floor. I thought he had been killed. I quickly spun out my daggers and looked around, trying to find the enemy. There was no footsteps, no breath. No heartbeats. I could not feel Lindir's presence.

My eyes widened and I screamed, my voice echoing off the walls. I screamed again, tears streaming down my face, shaking Lindir carefully. I told him that I had used up my blessing to heal on Kili, and I promised to find someone. I did not want to leave him, but I had to. I ran with speed, trying desperately to find someone, anyone, to help him. I found Legolas in the hallway, and he could tell something was wrong. He followed me when I spun back around, and he ran at the same speed as I did, both of us running back to Lindir.

When he saw Lindir lying on the cold ground, his eyes widened and he knew what was wrong. He immediately knelt down, seized one of his daggers and tore open the front of Lindir's tunic. He had a gash in his side, and the inside of his tunic was stained with his blood. I had been through many wars, and saw many wounds, but I could not look at Lindir's. All the breath went out of my lungs, and I felt the same feeling when I was too late to save Kili. I collapsed just as Legolas pressed his palms to Lindir's wound. He told me to find Elrond, but I could not. I could not move, nor breathe. I simply sat there, with tears still dripping down my face.

Legolas looked frantically around at the hallway, seeing only wood. He called out once for Elrond, and I choked out one word. Lindir. I did not know of any emotions then, I only felt as if I was drowning. Everything was silent, and the whole world spun around me.

I woke up in Lindir's bed, with sheets curled around me. I could make out the figures of Legolas and Elrond, bending over a figure next to me. Then the realization hit me. It was Lindir. He was alive.

My eyes widened and filled with tears, and my fingers tangled in his hair. I could not believe it. I curled up into a ball, ignoring the dizziness that surrounded me. My eyes were flowing with tears again, but tears of happiness. I pulled my fingers through his hair, gently taking his braids out. His eyes fluttered open, and his bloodless lips smiled at me. That was when I realized that he was lying in a swirl of bloodstained cloths. My breath caught in my throat, and the tears flowed faster.

Legolas walked over to my side of the bed, and sat, rubbing my back, promising me that everything was going to be fine. Lindir managed to whisper that he loved me before he fell back into unconsciousness.

I spent the rest of the day with tears running down my face, Legolas comforting me and my fingers in Lindir's hair.


	24. Chapter 24

Naneth,

I do not know why Lindir is injured. I still weep for him, as he has not been awake for more than a few moments. His wound's bleeding has slowed, but he has still lost half the blood in his body. I fear that the only thing keeping him alive is me.

I have not left his side once, and I refuse to eat or sleep, hoping that he will wake soon to talk to me. Either Legolas or Elrond is always on the other side of Lindir, trying to heal the wound.

I need to know of why he is injured. Elrond knows, but he will not tell me. He just says that Lindir needs to tell me himself. When he wakes, I always just say his name softly, hearing mine repeated over and over until his head falls back against the pillows.

I wish with all my heart that he will be fully healed soon. I want to wed him as soon as possible. Just hearing him say my name over and over again makes me happy. The thought that it is the only thing important to him when he wakes makes me feel a love that I have never felt before. I believe it is a longing.

A longing to touch, a longing to care, a longing to kiss. A longing more powerful than I have ever felt before. Even if he recovers fully, I know that I will be scarred. I will never forget the feelings that I have now. With every time his breathing slows, I am afraid. With every time he wakes, I am joyful. With every time he says my name, I feel loved.

I will always be loved.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	25. Chapter 25

Naneth,

Lindir woke up today, for a period long enough for us to speak. I asked him why he was hurt, and he cringed away from me. He gasped in pain and I helped support him again. I told him I wasn't going to hurt him, so he told me.

He spoke slowly, letting all the words coming out of his lips settle before he moved on. As I started to understand, I was too shocked to speak.

When I had left for Erebor, he thought I was never coming back. He had taken his dagger and cut himself deep, hoping to kill himself. He was halfway through the act when Elrond had come in, with news that I was back. Elrond had stopped him, and slowed the blood flow. He had finished bandaging the wound just as I came to find him.

As Lindir explained, my heart sank. I asked him of why it was still injured, for it was two years later and it was still a fresh wound.

The kisses, he had said. Every time he pulled me close for a kiss, his stitches would pull. He said that when he was kissing me it did not pain him, but it was terrible when he went to his room. He would stich and bind the wound every night before he fell asleep. It had finally healed enough that he had not put the bandages on that one morning. As he had been embracing me, his wound reopened and started gushing blood. Then he fell.

He finished the story and then looked me in the eyes. He told me that I was all the blood in his body, and that he'd have to kill himself to let me go. I told him that I'd never leave him again. He told me to sleep, and that he was not going anywhere. As he fell into blackness again, I slept and dreamed of Stars.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	26. Chapter 26

Naneth,

Lindir is growing stronger. Just today, he sat up. He has not regained quite enough strength to walk yet, but he grows brighter every day. I still fear that a kiss will open his wound, even though there is but a thin white line where the injury used to be.

Elrond and Legolas have been talking to me, trying to get me to come away from Lindir, promising that he is fine. But he is not. He had lost more blood than I have ever seen come out of a body. His injury is not the problem, for it is healed already. It is his blood.

It has been almost three years since we first met, and I remember everything. It was deep into the night when I arrived, with Legolas by my side. I do not remember much of anything until we walked to our assigned rooms. I felt something brush my arm in the darkness, and a flash of metal. I swept my daggers from my side just as fast as my opponent. As I was lunging forward, I realized something and halted almost immediately. It was an elf. A very beautiful, very skilled male elf. I think that a wave of guilt swept over me at that one moment when my heart fluttered, but I set my emotions aside and stood once again. He said "I beg your pardon." And I could not respond anything save for "The fault was mine." I turned and opened the door to my room, and the brown-haired dream asked me if I needed help with anything. I responded with a kind declination, and he introduced himself quickly and scurried away.

Now, we have been through many battles and kisses, and I believe that we are both to wed soon. He did say one year, and yet it has been three.

I wish for Lindir to replenish his blood soon, as while that happens, his love will grow stronger. And I need his love.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	27. Chapter 27

Naneth,

Lindir knows of my diary now. He saw me writing, and asked what it was. When I would not tell him, he snatched it out of my hands. He flipped through the pages, seeing his name repeated over and over, and raised his eyebrows at me. I blushed and simply sat there, curling up against his side while he read. When he got to yesterday's entry, he laughed and told me that he doubted how much I cared about him. I told him that I would always care for him, and for the first time in what seemed like centuries, he pulled me up to him and kissed me.

As soon as his lips touched mine, all my fears melted away. He pulled us both down onto the sheets, and ran his fingers through my hair.

And then, Naneth, who was to barge in but Legolas! At first we did not notice, but then I saw someone through the curtain of Lindir's hair. I gently pushed him off me and sat up again, quickly pulling my clothes back into shape. I was expecting jealousy or anger from Legolas, but it seemed as if he had none to offer. He said "Be careful, you two! I hope you know that you're not married yet!" and turned to leave. I called him back, and told him that it was only kissing and that he could stay if he wished.

He smiled and seated himself on the edge of the bed, stroking my hair as if I were a child. I leaned into his touch, taking Lindir's hand as well. I leaned over his lap and whispered "My friend, are you not jealous?" but he only laughed softly. Lindir tugged at my hand, insistent that I tell him of what I was speaking. Legolas knew just what Lindir was thinking, and only said one thing. "Oh, Lindir, mellonamin, we speak words of love!" Lindir stared at me, just as surprised as I was. "Love for your daughter!" Legolas exclaimed.

Lindir and I both reached out at the same time, dragging him across the bed by his tunic. We pulled him up between us, laughing. Lindir said that we should call him our son now, and I reached over to Legolas's hair, tousling it. I spoke to him as if he was a small child, and Lindir followed suit. Legolas pulled us off him, but did not move from where he was. He asked if I was to even have a daughter, and I smacked his arm, laughing again.

Elrond found us a few minutes later, and he was surprised to see Lindir moving and talking, but even more so when he figured out what he was saying. He looked at us quizzically, and asked us if we were to have a daughter. Legolas said very simply, "Gilwen." And we scolded him, laughing as Elrond tried to comprehend what was going on.

Even now, Naneth, I am not so sure that Elrond knows that I am not to have a daughter yet. Although today was very entertaining, I wish for Lindir and I to wed. I will wait, though, if that's what he wants.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	28. Chapter 28

Naneth,

Lindir can walk now, and he is fine, but he cannot run yet.

We were in the gardens with Legolas, and one of the servants walked up. He told us that Elrond requested our presence, and we all started laughing hysterically. The poor servant did not understand, and repeated the message. When we finally stopped laughing, we let the servant lead us to Elrond's study. We knocked, and the door opened almost immediately. He led us to the middle the room, and he asked why we had created a child before marriage. Lindir and I looked pointedly at Legolas, who explained the whole story. When he was finished, Elrond looked at us trying not to laugh, and burst out laughing himself. He dismissed us, and as we ran down the hallway, he called after us that Gilwen was a good name.

I agree.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	29. Chapter 29

Naneth,

Lindir is fully healed!

I wish that you could be here to watch me wed the man I love, but I know that you will be watching from above. Yes, Lindir has asked me to wed him. And yes, I agreed.

Legolas and I are the only Sylvan elves in Imladris. We were the only elves celebrating Mereth Nuin Giliath last night. Lindir came in to my room as Legolas and I were lighting the candle that we would take with us on the trip to the top of one of the waterfalls.

I jumped, and Legolas steadied my hand to help me light the candle. Lindir had heard us speaking of the ceremony, and he ran to his room and brought back a cloak to wear on the journey to stars. We smiled knowingly at him, and set off without speaking, climbing in silence. When we reached the top, we thanked Lindir for coming with us and let the festivities begin. We sat, staring at the stars and drinking the finest Dorwinion wine and laughing. Legolas turns his head once, to stare at Lindir, and Lindir blushes. "Ada," Legolas says, smirking.

I turn to him and demand to know what's going on, but he refuses to tell me. Instead, Lindir takes me hand, pulling me to my feet. He takes a deep breath and then takes both my hands in his.

"Tauriel of the Greenwood, I believe that you are my beloved. I want to spent the rest of my days with you, and never be scared of you leaving again. Will you please accept my offer and wed me?"

I took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears on my face. I could not, so I leaned forward and captured his lips with mine. His hand reached up to my face, pulling me away. "Legolas." Was all he said. I smiled sheepishly at him, and sank down to the stone. I was smiling, and tears of joy were escaping my eyes. I only barely managed to whisper a soft "My Beloved" before I started weeping again.

We did not want to leave, and when we got back to the halls of Imladris, Elrond came to find us. "Give me one moon to prepare." He said, and then strode away, leaving us with Legolas. Lindir laughed, and bent down to kiss me again. Legolas had disappeared. We spent what was left of the Starlight kissing and singing love songs.

When it was nearly dawn, Lindir tucked me into my sheets and left me, promising to return in a few hours. He had some arrangements to make.

Now, it is a few days later, and we are to be wed in only a few days more. I am planning many things now, so I must go.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	30. Chapter 30

Naneth,

Arwen is very excited, and she decided that she simply _had_ to help me pick a dress for the wedding.

It was nearly dawn when I heard a knock on my door. I thought it was Lindir, so I pulled myself out of bed swiftly and smoothed the sheets. I tugged my cloak over my shoulders and very nearly ran to the door. I opened the door and there stood Arwen.

I laughed softly. "Mae govannen, Arwen. I take it that you are here to help me pick a dress?" She beamed and started telling me about all the best seamstresses in Imladris, and all about the colors that would look best on me, and the styles. I laughed and told her I would be pleased to come with her. She beamed and took my hand, twining her fingers through mine.

Arwen was one of the few elves I knew that would wake up at dawn to help someone's love. In this case, "someone's love" was me. As we strode through halls and twisting paths, her talking the entire time, I could not help but notice her dress. She wore a long flowing silk dress, cut just below her collar bone. It was a beautiful midnight blue, sparkling in the sunlight, and I felt as if I had seen it before. I asked her about it, and she said that it was from my home, the Greenwood. It was a traditional Mereth Nuin Giliath celebration dress. I had never worn one, being the Captain of the Guard.

She told me that it was gifted to her from King Thranduil himself, as a wedding present. She said that Aragorn loved when she wore it, and it always drew a smile from Legolas. She said she wore it today to remind me that a part of home would be with me always. She asked me if I missed the Greenwood, and I told her that I did, but my heart remains wherever Lindir is.

She laughed and knocked upon one of the doors in the hallway. A young woman stepped out of the door. She had brown hair falling to her shoulders, and grey-blue eyes, the same color as the waves on the crashing sea. She introduced herself as Lainil, and Arwen could not wait anymore. She blurted out "We need a wedding dress." "Arwen!" I scolded her, laughing. Lainil looked as if a star had gifted her. She turned to Arwen, forgetting her introduction, and started to talk about styles. They kept discussing the dress, and Lainil dragged Arwen into the room. I followed; amused at how they could be so enthusiastic about a dress I would only wear once.

I sat myself on the floor, looking around at the dresses hanging from the walls. There were intricate, hand-carved hangers that fastened them to the walls. They were all organized by color, and then length. Arwen turned a full circle in the middle of the room, and then walked over to the Jade green section. Lainil walked over to the shorter styles while Arwen almost ran to the long, sweeping gowns. I laughed softly as they both started quarreling about which length. I stood up, walking over to the dresses. I put a hand on Lainil's shoulder, letting her know that that was enough.

She bowed her head, and I just stared at her quizzically. "What is wrong, Lainil?" I asked. "You are of a higher rank than she is," Arwen explained. I immediately felt sorry for the poor Elleth, and I stepped back, feeling as if I had raised Sauron's army again. "Forgive me." I said quickly.

I turned back to the rows of dresses, gaping as I saw the beads and fabrics; all twirled into magnificent dresses. "It is as if you are a higher rank than I, sewing all this finery by hand!" She blushed, and walked along the row once more. Arwen laughed and tugged at my arm, leading me closer. Lainil gasped, staring at me. I was worried that I had scared her, being fully armed and all. I stepped back again, taking my hand off my dagger.

Her eyes lit up, not even registering by step, and ran into her personal room.

She came back with a chest.

It is late now, and I will tell the story of the chest in the morning.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	31. Chapter 31

The chest was made out of wood, and on the lid was a carving of a deer in the forest. It was small, and I believe that a small child could fit inside. I was puzzled at why she had brought a chest to me. I was here for a dress!

She took out a key from her pocket, and quickly unlocked the chest.

There was a gown inside, neatly folded and obviously worn very little. Arwen gasped and knelt to help Lainil remove the dress.

It was nothing like the other gowns hanging on the walls. As they lifted it out of the chest, it unfolded and swirled to the ground. The forest color reflected off the walls and glowed as if it was a star itself. It was made of velvet, floor-length and fitted at the waist as if it was meant for a certain elf to wear. On the back of the bodice, white lacing's edges zigzagged from one side to another, leaving white ribbon to fall to the ground, curled at the edges. The neckline, curving around my collar bone, was hemmed with starlace, a lace patterned with stars that shone brightly in the large room. The sleeves on the dress reached halfway to the ground, swirling and twisting to accentuate the starlace around the edges.

At first, I was stunned by the beauty, and then even more stunned when Lainil told me to undress so that I could try it on. This dress was surely not meant for me! I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate as I tugged my dress over my head. Arwen smiled as she slid the starlace dress over my head. She told Lainil not to look and quickly laced it up, and then quickly braided my hair into wedding braids.

She turned me around and then told Lainil to open her eyes. When she did, she could not stop staring. She said that I was perfect for that dress, and that it should not have gone to anyone else. I asked her why it was so secret and hidden away, and why it was a miracle that it fit me. Arwen answered my question, fixing her eyes on mine.

"This dress was made by the power of the three Elven rings; to be gifted to whomever had the saddest heart turned joyful by true love." I looked down at myself, not daring to look in the mirror.

It fit me perfectly.

That is where the story of the dress ends, and tomorrow I will tell you what happened when I returned to my room. I am only walking there now.

Amin Mela Lle,

Tauriel


	32. Chapter 32

Naneth,

I cannot wait for Lindir and I to wed. I keep telling myself that I must wait for but two days, but I still am impatient.

When I returned to my room, I was not expecting Lindir to be there. He was lying on my bed, sleeping peacefully. I did not have the heart to wake him, so I just folded the blanket over him and sat down to sketch my dress.

It had been almost an hour when I heard blankets shift, so I sat up and walked over to him. He was clutching the blankets frantically, panting as if he was holding the world on his shoulders. "Lindir, what is wrong?" I asked him. He did not reply, and I started panicking. "Meleth! Lindir! Please tell me what is wrong!" I said.

A few moments later, he had calmed down, and I was almost immediately demanding to know what was troubling him. He told me it was only a dream, and that I should not be troubled by it. I did not believe him, and I pressed my lips to his gently. I told him that I would always be there for him, and that he could tell me anything.

He said that he was dreaming that I pulled away from him at our wedding, and that I turned and ran. He said that when he tried to run after me, I threw one of my daggers at him, and it hit him right through his heart. He died calling out my name, and that was when he woke up.

I pulled his chin up to look at me, and I told him that I would never do that to him. He said that he knew. I told him I would never let go of him, and we fell asleep, just like that, tears of joy and sorrow sliding down our faces.


	33. Chapter 33

Naneth,

Our wedding was a few hours ago. Lindir and Tauriel's wedding. Almost two hundred came, and surprisingly only about one hundred were elves. Gimli had brought a few of his friends, and the sons of the men that saw me fighting in Lake-town were there, along with Bard the Bowman's family.

I was very nervous as Lainil and Arwen got me ready, and they had to tell me to stop shaking a few times. I suspect Lindir felt the same.

As I took his arm, all the nervousness fell away, and I was happy. We walked up the small path, and I could see small details of loved ones in the spectator's faces. The way one's eyes shone, how the curve of one's cheekbone stood out, and many other details that were all adding up to your face. I could see parts of Kili in elves, just as I could see details of Ada in dwarves. All this realization did not make me sad. It just made me feel as if all my loved ones in the sky were with me.

When we reached the foot of the stairs, Legolas took my hand and Arwen took Lindir's. They led us up the stairs until we stood at the top. Legolas smiled at me encouragingly and I took a deep breath. I stood next to Lindir, holding Legolas's hand and looking out towards the crowd. I reached my hand out silently, turning towards Lindir. Arwen and Legolas backed away, reaching towards Tilda and Sigrid's hands, where our circlets lay. As Lindir took my hands in his, Arwen and Legolas stepped forward, placing the twining silver branches on top of our heads.

I could not help but smile as he pressed his lips to mine, sweeping me to the floor in a fairy-tale kiss. I could hear the audience cheering, and we broke away, standing once again, Lindir's arm around my waist.

Legolas and Arwen were smiling and clapping, Arwen running down the stairs to meet Aragorn in a passionate kiss. Young Eldarion, only seventeen moons old, started clapping as well, and I laughed, pulling away from Lindir to join in the clapping for Arwen and Aragorn.

As everyone else enjoyed the festivities, Lindir and I snuck away to our new room, enjoying our own celebration.


	34. It's Over It's done

It's over. Done. The first book of a trilogy.

Wow. I really can't believe that I made it this far, or even actually got fans!

I was crying when I typed the word "Ada," for Lindir's diary today. It's coming soon!

I want to give the hugest shout-out to all my followers and favoriters.

And for the last time in this whole story,

Luv hugs and guren glassui for reading.


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